Tag Archives: stuff

Steps at the End of the Line

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Remnants of Lives Lived

When my mother-in-law passed away, we had the unpleasant task of the dispersal of all her stuff (and she kept everything). There were of course, items like her journal, letters and photographs which chronicle her life. The decision there was how to preserve and share them. This experience, however, also included a totally unanticipated dilemma. For it to make sense, I might need to share some complicated family history.

Step-Relationships

My mother-in-law was married four times. The first very brief marriage produced my husband. The second marriage produced two other children. Both of these marriages ended in divorce and both husbands married others. The third marriage was to the love of her life. He also had been married previously and had a daughter. He passed away rather young and then my Mother-in-law married number four.

Husband number four had been married twice before. The first marriage produced two sons, the second no children. His second wife had one son from her previous marriage. They passed away in this order: First, the 2nd wife of husband #4 (before his marriage to my Mother-in-law); second, the only son of husband #4’s 2nd wife ; third the 4th husband; and then lastly my mother-in-law. The only daughter of husband number three passed away a few years before my mother-in-law. (Husband #1 passed away earlier but that is another complicated story)

There was stuff left behind by both husband number three and four, as well as additional stuff of the wife and son of husband number four. All this remained at the house which had been the home of husband #4 and his second wife, which my mother-in-law moved into after their marriage. Now that I have you totally confused, we will move on to the stuff.

Remnants and Traces

There was no issue with the stuff left behind that had monetary but no sentimental value, other than maybe bringing out the greed in people. Selling their things was unemotional. Some items were taken just because someone liked them – no feeling attached there either.

It is the stuff that chronicles lives that had me in a quandary. It has no personal significance to me. But to toss it seems too much like dismissing their lives as disposable and forgotten.

The personal stuff of husband number four was given to his sons. A few things belonging to husband number three were meaningful to those of us who had known him as step-father and grandfather. The stuff belonging to the deceased wife of husband number four and her only son left us with no one to give them to – no living descendants or other family members that we knew.

The son was a playwright and among the stuff left at the house were copies of plays he had written, sheet music, cassette tapes, and 45 records of songs from the plays. Attempts to find a local playhouse to take them were not successful. I did post some pictures as memories on FamilySearch, but the son’s journal seemed way to personal for that. I read it and felt somewhat like a voyeur. The journal was from his College days. We had both attended the same College at the same time and I knew him, though not as well as I knew some of the people he mentioned in the journal. I remembered some of the events he wrote about. I also remember attending a play that he had written which had been performed on campus. There were programs and memorabilia from that play, including a scrapbook. A name in the scrapbook indicated who had created it, and I learned that she was the sister of a friend. So, I passed that scrapbook on to him to send back to his sister in another state. I am not sure how she felt about having her gift returned, but I felt relief having something so personal off my hands.

Sadness of Traces Unsaved

“You can’t take it with you” people say of all the stuff we accumulate throughout our lives. For the stuff that is just stuff, temporarily used and disposable, that seems no great loss to the deceased or any great gain to anyone else. Perhaps it will be sold or given to someone to be useful for another lifetime.

But you also can’t take the meaningful stuff with you. You might hope that by its remaining here, it might leave some trace of you to perpetuate your memory to those who knew you. But that may depend upon leaving behind significant others to whom your significant stuff would seem meaningful enough for them to save. Without anyone to keep the stuff or at least to hold on to some memories, what does that leave of a life?

Gallery of Mom’s Art: Drawings and Etchings

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Though my Mom, Joan Eggleston, was a prolific painter, she did work with a variety of mediums during her lifetime. Drawing is an essential element of any art, yet it was not something Mom usually did as a finished project. Drawing is also basic to any art education. I can relate somewhat, because that is about as far as my own art developed. Mom’s art education of course included drawing and most of what she did there has not survived.

Drawings

We found only a couple of drawings in the house when we cleaned it out. These first two were folded and in a box with other papers. These were probably done when she was studying at Weber College.

This one is signed Joan Wheelwright
This drawing may have been done in High School

Etchings

For those not familiar with the process, etchings are created by scratching a design into a metal plate which is then covered with ink and the image pressed onto paper. This process makes it possible to produce multiple copies of the same design, even using different colors of ink. Usually artists will number the prints.

I eventually found the actual etching plates for these etchings. So, we could print more.

These are the etching plates. It was hard to get a good photo because they reflect light like mirrors

Framed Etchings

These three etchings were framed. There were some unframed prints of the same ones.

Unframed Etchings

I found copies of this one printed in different colors.

Gallery of Mom’s Art: Paintings

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I don’t know when my mother’s interest in art began, though I suspect it was pretty early in her life. I just remember it filling her life from the time I can first remember. Twenty years after her death, we cleaned out the house and moved my father in with my brother. In that process we distributed much of her art work. This post will focus on paintings, with others to follow for other mediums.

This is by no means a complete gallery of Mom’s art. During her life she gave many paintings away. I hope they are still being enjoyed as much as we enjoy these.

Childhood Paintings

In the drawer of the cedar chest we found some small canvases with what appear to be very early, even childhood paintings.

College Art Student

My mother, Joan Wheelwright, attended Weber College in Ogden, Utah as an Art Major. At that time Weber was a Two Year Junior College. Her education refined her natural talent. She created a number of works at Weber College and had some exhibited.

This painting hung in my Grandparents’ house from my earliest memories until after Grandpa’s death. It is signed Joan Wheelwright. It was probably painted when she was in College.

This painting is also signed Joan Wheelwright, so is an early work. It had been given to a neighbor when Mom was still living at home. This neighbor’s grandson found it when he moved into the house and felt it should be returned to family. He gave it to my cousin who had bought our Grandparents’ home after Grandpa died. She then gave it to me. It It was not in very good shape – some warping and water damage. I had it reframed and now it hangs in my home.

Though no signature is visible, this also appears to be an early painting.
This is one of several unframed water colors we found in the drawer of the cedar chest. This one is signed Joan Wheelwright, so likely done in College.
This one also appears to be signed John Wheelwright

Early Paintings

These other unsigned and unframed water colors appear to be early paintings. They were found in the cedar chest and other places around the house.

Portraits were something that Mom didn’t really paint, so finding this was kind of a surprise. Possibly it was done as an assignment in College?
This one has a smudge in the corner which may be a signature, though it doesn’t resemble hers. It might be someone else’s work, but I have no idea why she would have kept it if it wasn’t hers.

Other Early Paintings

Mom and Dad married in 1951, just before Mom turned 20 years old. These paintings are signed Joan W. Eggleston, so done after their marriage, but probably when she was still young.

I remember this painting hanging in the house forever. My siblings and I still wonder what the dark thing on the right is supposed to be.

Landscapes in Oil and Acrylic

Through the years, Mom painted many landscapes. I remember camping trips where we kids would be running around exploring while Mom sat and painted the scenery. At some point she started using a pallet knife to get more texture. Earlier landscapes were desert scenes or ones with fall colors.

This one was given to my sister. It has been newly reframed after the frame fell apart.

This is a really small painting in a frame that Mom covered with gold leaf.
This one is also small.

These were probably the last acrylic paintings Mom did. In her later years she went back to water colors. The three small paintings hung over Mom and Dad’s King size bed.

Seascapes

Mom gave this painting to her brother Bob for his birthday in 1967.
This large seascape was painted to hang over the fireplace.

Flower Paintings

Mom painted many flowers – some oil or acrylic, and in her later years all water colors, including the one at the beginning of this post.

This one hung in my room when I lived at home.
This is an unframed one that we found in the house.
This was the first painting that I specifically asked for. The photograph doesn’t do it justice. It is in an amazing antique frame that appears to need some repair.
This is the one that there was almost a fight over. The colors look better in person.

Water Color Landscapes

Besides flowers, Mom did several water color landscapes. After she redecorated with blue, she painted and matted most of these to match the color scheme.

A Few Small Still Life Paintings

This small simple still life is unframed

To Be Continued

We found this unfinished painting and wondered what to do with it. Fortunately, there are several artists among Mom’s posterity. One grandson stepped up and offered to take and finish it. We will have to see how it turns out.

Note: Most of these photographs were taken to send to family members so they could choose which painting they wanted. Unfortunately, I didn’t think ahead to doing something like this, so the quality of the photos is not great.